Downward Spiral
by RubysArms
Summary: Sometimes when you hit the bottom of a downward spiral, you land on something soft.
1. I'm Okay

-1She walked into the locker room and saw two of the nurses and Cameron. She nodded as to say hello and she couldn't help but notice Cameron staring at her. The two other nurses walked out laughing and Cameron approached her.

"I heard about your little fiasco. I heard you're doing drugs and sleeping around."

Thirteen just ignored her glare and continued to set her things in her locker. "Is that what you heard?" she said unenthusiastically. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You're young, you have a bright career. You'll regret the choices you're making."

Thirteen was tired of hearing Cameron preach to her. She had it enough from Foreman. "You know I have Huntington's, right?" Cameron remained silent. "I don't care about my future anymore because all of the plans and self-preservation I've done so far has done me no good. I'm living how I want to."

Cameron went to turn away and something came over Thirteen and she turned her around and kissed her. Cameron didn't pull away. It lingered and just as she thought about pulling away the door swung open.

"Ow, wow." said House. The one person they didn't want to walk in.

"Can I watch?"

Cameron hurriedly spat out a muffled excuse but House paid no attention to her words and stared at Thirteen.

"There's no need to be ashamed Cameron, many teenage girls, like yourself, tend to be curious about the same sex.

"House, it was innocent," said Thirteen even though she didn't really feel the need to defend herself.

"She kissed me, I wasn't ready for it," spat Cameron.

"Why are you in here anyways?" interrupted Thirteen.

"I was looking for you, but I can wait until you two are done with your little slumber party."

Cameron's face instantly turned red and she barged out of the locker room. "Why did you want to see me?" Thirteen said calmly.

"I'm worried about you?"

"Why are you really here, House? You don't give a crap about anyone unless it benefits you."

She acted as if he didn't already know that.

House stared at her a long time. She tried to pretend like she could stare back at him forever but his eyes melted her. She put her head down. "I don't want anything to happen to you," he said finally. "Why because we're friends?" she quipped sarcastically. "No. Because you're a damn good doctor. I know you think that this little path you're going down will be fun and it will make you happy but think about it. Really think about it. Those girls you're having one night stands with aren't going to remember your name. Don't you want to be remembered for saving lives? And not that drunk whore at the bar?"

She inhaled sharply. "I've spent my entire life doing things for other people. Going to med school for my parents. Coming in early to work to help out. Saving lives. I want to do something for me. Sex feels good and I, well, I need to feel good."

She sat down and House turned and walked out.

She didn't feel good though. She hadn't felt good for a long time.

Sure, when she drank, or got high or had sex, it seemed to make her feel awesome, amazing, but it was only temporary.

When the high wore off and the stranger left her bedroom it reminded her of why she did the drugs in the first place and it made her feel even worse.

She cried.

Thirty minutes later she left.

She drove home quickly. Tears forcibly making their way down her cheeks.

She went in her dresser drawer and pulled out a tablet of ex that she had scored from some gay bar a few nights ago. That would make her feel better.

She lied down in bed.

Her head spun.

The sheets felt smooth across her body.

She longed for someone to be there with her, to feel her body and to make her feel even better.

Just as she thought this someone knocked on the door. At first she thought she was imagining it but she wasn't. The sound came again only harder. As if someone was beating her door with a stick.

She opened the door and there stood House, cane in hand.

Without thinking she blurted out, "What are you doing here?"

She put her head down but it was too late. He had noticed her dilated pupils. It was House, after all.

He was a doctor, a very good, observant doctor and he was no stranger to the realm of the drug world. He instantly knew what was going on.

"So, you _are_ doing drugs. Ex?"

She kept herself from nodding. He touched the bottom of her chin and made her eyes level with his.

She didn't want him to leave though. She didn't want to be alone again. She wasn't in the mood to pick up a stranger but she couldn't spend another night alone. House would have to do for now.

She moved out of the way and he automatically stepped in.

"I really am worried about you, ya know? Did you at least save some for me?"

She shook her head. Her head felt like it was filled with water.

House sat himself on her couch. She walked up to him swiftly. "What are you doing?" he asked.

She sat on his lap and cupped his face in her hands and pulled him to her mouth.

Things were going fast. Music played in the background the lights spun in her head as they stripped from their clothing.

She kissed his neck and felt him get weak.

As she unzipped his pants, as she herself was only in her bra and underwear. He stopped her with his hand.

"Stop." he sighed. "Stop." he said more firmly.

She looked at him gently and went to kiss him again but he turned his face.

"I can't, I'm your boss, unfortunately."

He stood up and pulled his shirt over his head.

"I'm sorry." he said and with that he left.


	2. Are You Happy Now?

-1Thirteen didn't go into work the next day. She wasn't really afraid of facing House, she was afraid he'd be afraid to face her. It scared her a little.

She had a headache from the pill she had taken the night before.

It was pouring outside but somehow sunlight managed to pour into her bedroom.

It was ten thirty in the morning.

It was way too late to say she got caught by a train.

She was alone with her thoughts all day. It was even more frightening than House.

She put her feet to her cold wooden floor.

She was angry.

She hated the drugs. She hated who she was. She just wanted to be loved she concluded, although she'd never admit it, even aloud to herself.

Three bangs.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

It was the same bang at the door from the night before.

She sighed long and stood up.

She opened the door cautiously and there he stood.

Her boss.

"I wasn't that bad of a kisser, was I?" he quipped.

She just looked at him almost desperately. Desperate was an emotion. Thirteen didn't like emotions. She set her head down and looked at their feet. House's Nike trainers.

"You could have come to work today, I wasn't going to say anything to anyone."

She felt the tears coming. She felt herself crumbling. She couldn't handle it.

She looked up, finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

Her eyes dripping.

It took House off guard.

"Remy," he said softly.

She jerked her head to him quickly.

"Did you just call me by my first name?"

He leaned in and kissed her.

She pulled back. "You're my-my boss, I,"

"Oh, please, when do you care who you're sleeping with?"

Their mouths locked and she helped House pull his coat off. Their eyes caught. She was very careful to walk cautiously for House's limp.

She guided him to her bed.

He began to kiss her neck. She felt her whole body tingle.

"House," she said.

He ignored her.

"I don't want this to be like the others. I couldn't,"

They fell back on the bed.

"Fuck," she said.

"Well, if you insist," House spat.

She couldn't help but smile.

"She threw her tank top to the side of her bed. House's shirt fell somewhere on the other side.

House took his hands and slid her shorts down her slender legs. He left his firm hand on her thigh.

She couldn't be close enough to him. She held onto his back.

She kicked her underwear off.

Before she knew it, House was inside of her, thrusting.

She didn't need drugs to make this good.

With every thrust her worries faded.

Out of breath, House laid next to her.

She ran her fingers through his hair.

His phone began to ring.

She grabbed it off of her nightstand and handed it to him.

He flipped it open, "I'm a little preoccupied right now, if you could take a number and get in back of the line it would be appreciated,"

He smiled at Thirteen who inevitably smiled back. "What do you mean where did I go? I told you I was going to Subway, you know they sell foot longs for five dollars?"

Thirteen looked at House. She didn't know if everything would work out. Or if anything would change, but at that moment, she didn't worry about it. She just wanted him to hold her tighter.


End file.
